London's Finest....

On the subject of emergency services, I learn that amongst the many strange reasons folk find to call out the Fire Brigade, there is included a chap who recently got his genitals caught in a toaster.

Now let us just stop and think about this.

I have often wondered, what makes a chap get up in the morning and think to himself "I know, I'm going to wear a cravate today!". Why would you do that?

But this person, at some point, thought to himself "I know, I'll stick the old todger into the toaster for a bit..." What was he doing? Was there bread in there? Was the toaster switched on? How exactly did he explain his situation when he made the 999 call? I would so love to hear the recording of that one.

But how wonderful for the Fireman who found him. Would you not have liked to have been a fly on the wall as that one unfolded?

Boris Johnson does not share the average Londoner's admiration and affection for the Fire Brigade, apparently, as he wants to make still further cuts. The London Fire and Emergency Planning Authority (LFEPA) is fighting for additional funding in order to prevent more cuts in the service. Boris Johnson stated last week in a letter to London Fire Brigade commissioner Sir Ron Dobson  that  “I am not minded to provide additional funding to LFEPA for 2014/15.  My budget guidance for that year has recently been issued and sets out my current understanding of the level of financial resources available and how they are best to be deployed. I have done this against a backdrop of reductions in government grant."

Don't blame the government, mate, its your party that is in power. Well, sort of.

Does the government not have any idea of the importance of maintaining strategic services, and keeping them under public control? OK, that was a stupid question, I know. The Tories would sell the Brigade of Guards to the Taliban if they could get the right price.

Boris enjoys a certain popularity amongst Londoners for two reasons. Firstly because he is not Ken Livingstone, and secondly because he looks funny. Cuts to the Fire Brigade will affect Londoners very badly. I doubt if there will be too many appliances lost around Kensington and Chelsea of course, but proper Londoners will not take this too kindly.