No Such Thing As A Free Meal?

The name of Titus Clarysse is not much known outside his native city of Ghent, but he popped up on my radar some time ago when I learned of his wonderful ability to enjoy eating in the finest restaurants without ever paying his bill.

I'm not condoning theft - I received a tax bill recently and I know what it feels like - but the world needs eccentrics. Mr Clarysse was not a man of means, but despite his habit, he was not unpopular. The Belgians are a bit like we British - they appreciate eccentrity, and see it as something desirable in a personality.

Sadly I learn today that this local character was been found in his home, stabbed to death.

The investigating police are not ruling out a connection between this sad event and his behaviour - he had many convictions, for at least 100 incidents.

Tim Joiris, head of the Ghent region restaurant and hotel federation, struggled to believe anyone could have gone so far.

“Curse him? Maybe. But kill him? That makes no sense,” he said.

“It was trouble for everyone. And what's worse, for long nobody knew how really to deal with it, in the end, we knew his face, but you know, on a busy terrace in summer, full of people, he knew how to blend in. He did it all, the grand restaurants, the terraces. He really tried them all.”

Mr Clarysse was a “tafelschuimer” — someone who takes everything, even the crumbs, off the table.
“He was asking for it all — the whole menu,” Mr Joiris said with a laugh. “He would sit and wait after the meal — another beer, a brandy. We are not talking about an aggressive guy. He was just happy-go-lucky about it.”

Mr Joiris said that tales of people being forced to do the dishes if they could not afford to pay were “a myth”.

Murdered - By A Stale Pork Pie!

Today is Benny Hill's birthday. Rest in Peace Benny.

Roger Lloyd-Pack - Thanks For The Laughs!

Roger Lloyd-Pack was a serious actor. He was also the father of Emily Lloyd, the actress.

He passed away two days ago.

He knew that despite all the work he did, he would be remembered forever as 'Trigger', that wonderful character in 'Only Fools And Horses'.

It is often the supporting actors that make the principals shine, but Trigger was much more than that. He could steal a scene with just one line.

He was a true Londoner.

Rest in Peace Roger.

What Are They Thinking Of?

I know we are not supposed to laugh at such things, but nothing can bring tears to my eyes faster than a comb-over.

This 'hairstyle' is particularly popular in Belgium, I am pleased to say, and I have seen some real beauties here in Brussels. But today I saw the greatest.

Even sadder than a comb-over is a comb-forward. We have been in Strasbourg this week, and as I am sometimes inclined to do, I left the panzer in the garage, and let the train take the strain.

Opposite me on the train was a chap, I would guess around 30ish, with possibly the saddest comb-forward I have ever seen. I have to say - and I speak as somebody whose family trait is exceptionally thick hair - this was the thickest, and densest hair I have ever seen. Sadly, it all came from the nape of his neck. It came forward from the neck to his forehead, where he had attempted to create a kiss curl.You really had to see this to appreciate it.

I was looking forward to the 5 hour trip, having acquired a collection of late-Victorian detective short stories (a passion of mine) which included a couple of works by Arthur Morrison that I had never read. You probably have to be me to really appreciate this genre, but trust me, Sherlock Holmes was just one of the many wonderful characters of that ilk.

But I just could not settle into my book. I could not stop staring - for most of the trip - at this incredible sight. This man made Donald Trump look like Mungo Jerry. It was just unbelievable. I just sat there willing him to look out of the window so I could see this in profile. If he combed it backwards, it would have been below his shoulders.

A politician of my vague acquaintance - he does not like me much, so I have no qualms about telling you this  - has just accepted defeat and given up trying to pretend that he still has more than 10 hairs on his head, albeit that each of them is 2 feet long and wrapped around his head 'Mr Whippy' style, and has now 'come out' as being bald (as if nobody had guessed!) This is a great shame.

More comb-overs please chaps, I need a good laugh!

A Chance Meeting With Mr Landsbergis.

One of the great joys of my work is that I am privileged to meet some really great people.

Tonight, after a long day in the office, Nikki Sinclaire MEP and  I had a drink and a chat, and then took a walk together on the edge of the Orangerie - a beautiful park near to the parliament. Nikki had to return to the office, but I continued my walk, deciding to make my own way to my hotel on foot- a mere 2 miles away - rather than catching the tram.

I know Strasbourg quite well, after working here each month for almost 10 years now. But - and this will come as no surprise to those who know me well - I got lost. I can actually take a wrong turn on the way to the bathroom in my own home. I got it wrong in Petite France, the medieval quarter of the city, and ended up approaching my hotel from the wrong direction. No problem, it cost me only 15 minutes. 

But to my delight, as I was just a few minutes away, I met one of my great heroes. Vytautas Landsbergis is a Lithuanian Member of the European Parliament.

 On March 11th,1990, as de facto Head of State, he became the first leader to declare independence from the Soviet Union. It was a dangerous, and heroic, act that could have cost him his life!

When I arrived in Brussels in 2004, I was honoured to meet him and shake his hand for the first time.

Mr Landsbergis is also a highly prominent composer and classical pianist. I love music, that is no secret, and I am proud to say that I helped, in a small way, to found the European Parliament's Informal Classical Music Intergroup. To all of us, Mr Landsbergis is a diamond. 

And so, strolling through Strasbourg, on a mild winter night, I shared a minute or two with him, talking about music and politics, and the forthcoming elections. He will retire this year, at the age of 81. His role in bringing an end to the Evil Empire makes him a great political figure. He is a great  musician. And a lovely man who I am very privileged to be acquainted with.

Freddie Fingers Lee - Setting His Head On Fire!

Freddie 'Fingers' Lee has died.

He was one helluva an act. You have to admire a man who can play the piano and sing while his head is on fire!

His act was largely modeled on that of Jerry Lee Lewis, but he brought in other musical influences as well. His stage act also owed something to Screaming Lord Sutch.

Freddie was a mainstay of Jack Goode's revival of 'Oh Boy', where he performed alongside Marty Wilde, Shakin Stevens, Matchbox, and other stars of the late 70s-early 80s Rock n Roll revival. 'Ol One Eye', as he called himself, will be much missed among my peer group.

I always his version of Lights Out, with a great intro, and yes, he does set his head on fire. Enjoy!

Rest In Peace, Freddie.

I Hate It When This Happens.....

I have always regarded François  Hollande as a bit of a knobhead. Having said that, I think that I understand his politics better than he understands that fact that this is the 21st century. Nuff said, I guess.

So basically, we are highly unlikely to ever work together, and  I suspect that we would both be the happier for it.

He has now done what every French leader seems to do, and has been caught with his pants down.

I make no moral comment. But I would say - she is a bit of a babe!

So, well done François, you probably don't need me to tell you this, but Keep It Up, Mate!

Bye Bye My Love.....

I inherited my love of Rock 'n' Roll from my parents. The big names Chez Cartwright when I was growing up were Buddy Holly, Gene Vincent, Eddie Cochran, Ricky Nelson, Elvis, and above all, the Everly Brothers. In the 60's, I remember that on a Friday after work, Dad would always bring a couple of 45s home. Pop music was exciting in those days.

My final moments with my father were spent listening to the Everly Brothers. When a person is fading, the last sense to be lost is the hearing. Although he could not really communicate with us, he would smile and tap his feet to music up until the final days. Dad introduced me to so much great music, and Bye Bye Love by the Everlys was, ironically, the last song we were ever to listen to together.

And today, we learn that at the age of 74, Phil Everly has passed away. I saw the Brothers live a couple of times in the 80's. There were differences between them, but they were still a great act.

Rock 'n' Roll has lost one of it's greatest names this week. And I wish I could have shaken his hand and thanked him for the pleasure that his music gave my father throughout his life, and especially during in his final days.

Pandering...

The government has apologised after an RAF recruitment billboard put up in Londonderry angered some relatives of those who died on Bloody Sunday.

Kate Nash, whose brother was one of 14 people killed by the Army in 1972, said the poster put up opposite her home in the Brandywell, was "deeply hurtful".

I am not aware of any RAF involvement in Bloody Sunday, nor am I aware of any past fricton between the RAF per se and the citizens of Northern Ireland. In fact, I was never treated unreasonably by anybody, be they Catholic or Protestant (with the one notable exception of a Catholic priest who told me "we are sending a lot of you home in boxes, aren't we?") Well, there are ignorant assholes in any community, I suppose.

I have my own thoughts on Bloody Sunday, but I also have sympathy for the families of all those who died in the troubles. It was an awful time, and thank God it is over. It is a terrible shame that some try to keep the hatred alive by digging up the past and making complaints in this way.

Anyway, what the hell has it got to do with the RAF Reserves? The poster should not have been taken down.

Society Needs Dissent: The Police Disagree.

I don't know Andy Blackwell well, but when I am in Cornwall I always go to his place, 'Blackies', to get my hair cut.

Mr Blackwell is my kind of bloke. We are as near as damn it the same age, he is delightfully eccentric, a businessman, and a Royal Navy veteran. There is a lovely atmosphere in Blackie's, its a nice place to be.

Like many business folk in Liskeard, he is very concerned about parking costs and restrictions that drive potential clients away from the town centre. Liskeard is not an obvious tourist destination, but seasonal and passing trade are very important in that neck of the woods.

Andy Blackwell is not a person you would describe as 'timid'.

In August of this year, he was in the process of cutting my barnet when he broke off to go outside the shop with his megaphone and announce "Danger, parking wardens in the area. Revenue collection in progress. Danger!"

Cornwall is one of those counties that generates massive profits from parking. Moscow has Gazprom, Cornwall has parking wardens.

Andy Blackwell says what most people think.

And so he had to be silenced.

The local council found three parking wardens to come forward and state that they felt 'intimidated' by his behaviour. I am ashamed to say that one of these specimens identified himself as an "ex-RAF officer" who was so traumatised by the experience that he had to go and sit down and have a cup of tea to get over it.

And here we get to the meat of the story.....

The police, who not only feel that they are above the law, but now know that they are indeed above the law, hate it when anybody questions authority. And so they took Mr Blackwood in, turned the screws, and forced him to accept a police caution for quite a serious allegation. They were no doubt pleased to do the bidding of the local authority. I worked in politics long enough to know an orchestrated operation when I see one.

A good man has now been silenced. He now has a police record that will stay with him for life, and he has been subjected to unpleasant press coverage in what is a small and close-knit community.

The British police were politicised during the miner's strike of the 1980s, and the damage has never been undone. Just ask Andrew Mitchell MP.

I do not want to appear flippant, but a police force that does the bidding of its political masters, and whose officers are above the law, is bad for our democracy. In fact, it is more than that; it is a major threat to our democracy. Just ask Andy Blackwell. This decent armed forces veteran, a family man and a taxpayer, has lost his right to speak out in the way that he sees fit about a situation that threatens his livelihood, and that of many other small businessmen and women.

I am never shy in voicing my opinions about London's serial killers and purveyors of fine perjury, the Metropolitan Police. I would argue that rather than promoting the likes of Cressida Dick, who oversaw the murder of an innocent man, and who does not seem to be on record as condemning the subsequent police cover up, we should be sacking these people. The political decapitation of the Met is the only way to return it to its originally intended purpose.

Apparently the problem is spreading. Democracy is in peril: perhaps we should give a lot of thought to what our police forces have become, and how we should deal with the problem.


Blackie's Barbershop

1 Pondbridge Hill

LISKEARD

Cornwall  PL14 3AB

Stay Away From Scabby Whores.

Now you may think that this is a deliberately provocative headline, intended to attract you in much the same way as one might use tags like 'Monica Bellucci Naked' to draw attention to an article about horse riding in Huntingdonshire, for example. But there is a genuine reason for it.
The Belgian press is carrying a couple of interesting stories today concerning health. There are two areas of concern - STDs are on the rise (especially Chlamydia), and there is also a bit of a problem with scabies, particularly in Flanders.

This comes in the same week that I learn of a drastic rise in Rickets in Southwark. This is associated with vitamin D deficiency, and as many as 40% of children in the borough may be potentially affected. Is that the result of a poor diet as a result of poverty, or an inability by some parents to understand that chips are not a breakfast cereal? I suspect its a bit of both.

Southwark has always been an area with acute health problems, and it would have been even worse if it were not for the work of health reformer Dr Alfred Salter, one of my greatest heroes. Salter transformed Bermondsey and its surrounds, but as time moves on, the area is becoming a problem again.

A wee extract here from what is now becoming the longest research project in the history of the galaxy, but which I hope to publish this side of my 80th birthday...

"The National Health Service tells us that even now, at the beginning of the 21st century, child mortality rates in Southwark remain higher than the average for England and Wales. A report by the Joseph Rowntree Foundation, published in August 1997, showed that Bethnal Green also remains blighted by high, indeed rising, mortality rates. Interestingly, the same report also highlights the fact that men between the ages of 15-44 are still twice as likely to die in Southwark as the national average for their age group. In 2001, four academics from Bristol and Leeds universities, in a critical paper on health inequalities, cited Southwark, and Bermondsey in particular, as being amongst the very worst places in the UK for premature deaths. Indeed, in June 2011, the Southwark News reported that "There have been more cot deaths in Southwark in the last five years than anywhere else in London".

Figures also suggested that teenage mothers are four times more likely to have a cot death than older mums, leading experts to link the terrifying record to the borough’s high rates of teen pregnancy."

 

What am I saying here? In Flanders, and in Southwark, we are seeing frightening rises in instances of health issues related to poverty (as well as to poor education).

 

The Southwark News also reports an increase in the number of women turning to prostitution in order to pay their bills. Will we also see STD rates rise in the borough, as in Flanders, as a result?

 

 

Making A Monkey Of The Law!

Just A Bunch Of Regular Guys?

 

Plato once wrote about rights and equality that matters would go so far the "even domestic pets will rise on their hind legs and demand equality".

A few years ago I was reminded of his words when I read of a move to ban the docking of dog's tails. Quite right too, in my opinion, as this is a cruel practice. But this was not a decision based on the cruelty involved, but on the basis that as dogs show happiness by wagging their tails, docking infringes upon their right to freedom of expression. Domestic pets now enjoy the right to freedom of expression. I am not actually saying that this is wrong, I am simply pointing out that Plato got it right. I wonder what else he will be proven right about..... That's a thought that makes me shudder.

Today I learn from the BBC that a New York court has been asked to give 'legal person' status to a chimpanzee. The Nonhuman Rights Project wants a chimp named Tommy to be granted "legal personhood" and thus to be entitled to the "fundamental right of bodily liberty". The group wants Tommy, and 3 other chimps to be released from captivity. Again, I'm right behind them on the motive, but because keeping animals in captivity is generally a cruel thing, not because they are really chaps like us.

I am going to put Plato's hat on now, and make a prediction.

There are often difficult issues when a person passes away and leaves money to a pet. It happens, and relatives sometimes dispute the will. I think I know where we are going with this.

I predict that in the not so distant future, there will exist a form of civil partnership that one can enter into with a pet, thus giving a legal status which ensures that the pet can inherit.

If that sounds crazy, then how about a New York court being asked to grant 'person status' to a chimp? It is crazy, but it is happening now.