FUTURUS

It was nice to meet up with some old friends as well as some current colleagues at a recent meeting in London to discuss the relaunch of FUTURUS, the think tank.

One of the many criticisms that has come out of the recent civil war in UKIP is the lack of academic integrity and a reliance on outdated arguments. FUTURUS will not be a UKIP project as such, that would not help our case at all, it will be non-party political, but with strong eurosceptic leanings.

There are certain policy areas in which eurosceptics are provided with rows of open goals. Sadly these are all too often missed, amongst the shadow chasing and in-fighting that dominates our slice of political space. FUTURUS is not the only such project emerging at present, and I think we can look forward to a long-awaited refreshment and rejuvination of our platform.

I was delighted to receive a copy of the new book ”Too ‘nice’ to be Tories?: How the modernisers have damaged the Conservative party” by Anthony Scholefield and Gerald Frost. The author's analysis of the flawed reasoning behind the modernisation of the Conservative party is extremely interesting and their arguments convincing. I strongly recommend it.

Enjoying my second childhood!

My son and I spend a lot of time at the military museum in Brussels http://www.klm-mra.be/klm-new/engels/main01.php?id=menu_links/startpagina

For those who are interested in such things, a few new exhibits have arrived. An 88mm flak gun and a Hawk SAM system to name but two. It is also possible to actually watch restoration work going on, and a DH Dragon Rapide is starting to look pretty impressive now.

Well worth a visit, and there is a reasonable cafe in the aircraft hangar where on Saturdays it is quite normal to sit down and join groups of Belgian veterans  for a spot of lunch. Youngsters can also sit in the cockpit of a Hawker Hunter, and wander around an old Flying Boxcar, but for some of us the superb collection of WW1 biplanes is the star attraction.

No Virgins for Osama!

By now I guess Osama Bin Laden will have realised that all that stuff about 72 virgins awaiting him in paradise was all total nonsense.

I think he is somebody who will not be terribly missed, but I wonder how the conspiracy theorists are taking the news. Many of them believed that Bin Laden did not actually exist.

I am aquainted with a true master of plots and conspiracies - in fact I breifly shared an office with him - who once explained to me that Bin Laden was an invention of a world government, and the George Bush ordered the destruction of the World Trade Centre. This was so that this shady secret world government could introduce 'anti-terror' laws that would enable them to enslave us. He was truly convinced of this. Mind you, he also believed that the Russian invasion of Chechnya was a CIA plot, and that wind-turbines are throwing the Earth off of its axis.

How does he feel now that Bin Laden is dead? How is he taking the news that his sad theory was complete nonsense?

Another favourite topic of the conspiracy theorists is the Bilderberg group. In fact, I remember about 10 years ago there was speculation about whether that group really existed, or whether it was part of an elaborate smokescreen put in place to hide the existence of something even more shadowy - there are even conspiracy theories about conspiracy theories, it seems. I decided to find out a bit more about the Bilderberg group, so I called up their secretariat in the Hague. A charming lady answered all my questions. Another barmy theory bites the dust - a bit like Osama Bin Laden!

Afghan insurgents employed by Group 4 Security.

Typical Norfolk Villagers Go About Their Business - 2011

It's true! According to the Royal British Legion magazine 'Legion' (Mar/Apr 2011), the British Army has built a replica Afghan village in Norfolk  in order to train troops in a realistic environment. (They could have saved some money of course, and just deployed to Hounslow).

This village is so realistic it even has genuine Afghan insurgents - supplied by Group 4 Security! Honestly, I am not making this up.

This is brilliant. Group 4 have been coming in for a bit of stick here in Brussels, but this one really takes the biscuit.

Things have moved on a wee bit from my day, when troops were sent to Sherwood Forest to prepare for operations in Rhodesia. Lets just hope that when we pull out of Afghanistan in 2014 we leave behind us something a bit more like the real world, and a lot less like Zimbabwe . But you know what? I am not all that optimistic.

Belgians can't drive properly: Police approve!

This morning, whilst crossing the 5 lane chaos that is Rue Belliard, just outside the parliament, I and my fellow pedestrians had a narrow escape when a taxi came hurtling through a red light and over the crossing. This is far from being my first near death experience on a pedestrian crossing in Brussels.

Belgians, generally, are appalling drivers. Belgian taxi drivers, however, make Italian drivers look good. They are rude, ignorant, dangerous, and they don't give a flying f*ck for other road users. They are totally reliant on GPS systems that they are too stupid to use properly, and they overcharge shamelessly. Change is something that has to be demanded with menace. I once got into a cab with a driver who took me for about 20 minutes in what turned out to be the wrong direction, before he stopped the cab and called a friend for directions.

Now I learn that BelgaPlod are actually incentivising bad driving. The Brussels police have announced that from now on they are only going to prosecute speeding drivers if they are going really really fast.

Belgium already has a disproportionately high accident rate, partly due to the appalling state of its third world roads, and partly due to the stupidity of the average Belgian driver. Once on a pedestrian crossing in a shopping street I was almost hit by a van. His head was tipped back, and he appeared to driving one-handed while he tipped the contents of a crisp packet down his neck. He was totally unaware of the red light he was jumping, or the pedestrians he narrowly missed. This is normal behaviour on the roads of Brussels.

Iceland Votes No! We pay... as usual.

 Icelanders have voted to reject proposals to repay something like 4 billion quid that they owe us and the Dutch. Well, isn't that a great example of democracy in action? I may have a vote on whether or not to pay my phone bill next month, and taking into account the Icelandic result, I am expecting a landslide "No" vote.

"The Icelandic nation has been put in a terrible situation," Reykjavik voter Helgi Sigurdsson has told the Associated Press news agency. "It has two choices - both are bad." 

Well, how about a third option? How about giving Britain it's money back? 


The tragedy is that in a desperate bid to renage on their obligations, Icelanders will now push to join the EU asap, and pass the debt to Europe's taxpayers. What's good for the Irish, Greeks, and Portugese, is surely good enough for Helgi Sigurdsson. As for that cod they bravely fought us for in the 1970s? They can kiss that goodbye. The Spanish will sterilise their fishing grounds inside of a decade. Then, I guess, they will want compensation. Bloody parasites!

Belgians Deploy in Libya

And now for the news.

Belgian aircraft yesterday launched a strike in Libya. The Army is expected to come out in sympathy, as are Belgian post office workers, who will take industrial action for three days each side of the Easter holidays.

Two Belgian F-16s, borrowed from the Royal Netherlands Air Force and  piloted by Germans, are known to be in-theatre. 

Belgian politicians with stakes in the nation's arms trade have approved the supply of arms to the value of €20 billion for the NATO operation, although there are no plans to actually deliver them. The bill has already been sent to Washington, and there is a proviso for any unused weapons to be supplied to the Congo at preferential rates.

Senior Head of the Army, General Jaqueline de Smedt, aged 23, told journalists from her hotel room in Paris, "We have plans to deploy 200 Group 4 security guards on the outskirts of Tripoli, but it is highly unlikely that this will actually happen. We will also be sending a detachment of Special Forces just as soon as we assess exactly what their special needs are".

The Belgian navy has agreed to deploy a submarine, U-251, in Libyan waters. This is expected to arrive in Honolulu in September after training exercises off the coast of Atlantis are completed.

Several Belgian Prime Ministers were unavailable for comment, or indeed for anything else.

British War Memorial in Doel Dismantled

In Doel, in East Flanders, the British war monument at the yacht basin has been pulled down. This happened at the request of the local authorities.

The monument was erected in 1948 to commemorate the British soldiers who protected Antwerp and East Flanders against German V1 and V2 attacks at the end of the war. The municipality of Beveren wants to move the monument to the Prosperpolder, as the future of the polder town of Doel, near the port of Antwerp, is uncertain. The local pressure group concerned with the future of Doel, Doel 2020, is angry. "The monument is pulled down before a public investigation has been started into the future of the village. This again shows how people deal with legal procedures, public investigations and zoning plans", Jan Creve of Doel 2020 explains.

"It's a pity that it happened in a sneaky way", says Alain Heyrman who represents a local group to protect the monument. "We will continue our petition and we hope that the monument can keep its place on the banks of the Scheldt, between the windmill and the nuclear plant."
Pressure groups have asked the Flemish minister Geert Bourgeois (Flemish nationalist) to protect the monument and say that they are not giving up the fight.

An unfortunate acronym...

I was thrilled to learn of the existence of an armed political organisation that calls itself MILF. Now this is a highly unfortunate acronym, but one that has brightened up my day no end.

The joy continued when I checked out their website, which declares that "The MILF is the vanguard of the Islamic movement in the Bangsamoro homeland in Mindanao and the neighbouring islands." This conjures up some pretty special imagery, but whilst I want it to be so, I know that it can never be.

MILF is, in fact, the Moro Islamic Liberation Front, which operates with a small force of soldiers in some islands I never heard of before.

Ben Ali is coming..........

Zin El Abidine Ben Ali is the deposed 74 year old former president of Tunisia. He is not too popular at the moment, and there are fears for his safety. And so he is planning to move to Belgium.

It appears that he has a distant relative in the village of Rellegem, a few miles outside Brussels. In the interests of security, BelgaPlod are not divulging the identity of person concerned, but should Ben Ali rock up in Rellegem it probably won't be too difficult to work out where he is staying.

Actually, he should do quite well here. It didn't take me too long to realise that the North African community, which is huge in these parts, is the nearest you will find in Belgium to a thriving economy - it is certainly the only community in Belgium that understands the concept of good customer service. Indeed, should he decide that a drastic career change is not what he wants, he could always apply to become Prime Minister here - we haven't had a real one of those for ages.

French Opinion Polls - bad news for Sarkozy



Nicolas Sarkozy : Trailing in the Polls

 This week we decamped to Strasbourg for the monthly round of meetings and events that I alone seem to enjoy so much. Everybody else in the eurosceptic camp claims to hate it here, but I find it a beautiful city, and I love to be here. And the work is never dull. And during these weeks I tend to ponder (uncharacteristically) on matters French. And so I note with interest that Marine Le Pen is now favourite to take the French Presidency.

This makes me feel a little more important than I was last week, and I will tell you why. I know this is a tenuous link, but.....

If she wins, then I will be able to say "The French President's dad is in my old office"!

I told you it was tenuous, but Jean Marie Le Pen has indeed taken over what was my first office when I arrived in Brussels.

I know we have been here before, with JM Le P himself getting close to the presidency on one occasion, but I don't think it will happen for his daughter either, but it raises questions about what turns people towards nationalist politics.

I don't actually think that this is about immigration this time around, but more likely a reaction to the economic crisis, and the tendency for folk to close ranks during times of trouble. The fact that Fonzie - sorry, Sarkozy - is languishing at the bottom of the opinion polls bears out my theory. In fact, I suspect he will be returned to the Presidency when the time comes, not least if he learns the lessons of this week's polls and adapts his presentation accordingly.

Service as Usual - Virtually Non Existant!

"Not in Service"

Today is a nice day. The roads were clear this morning, and traffic was flowing freely. There were also fewer people on the pavements, and best of all, not a single bus to be seen. The buses of Brussels are a menace - drivers are surly, ignorant, and appear to have no idea what their mirrors or indicators are for. Imagine a driver who recently escaped from Alcatraz, a bus that doubles as a recycling dump for vomit and cigarette ends, and roads that resemble the Congo before the aid arrived, and you will have a pretty good picture of a bus journey through the city that likes to think of itself as the "capital of Europe".

The respite on the roads this morning is because there is something of a general strike in Belgium today. They strike a lot in Belgium.

In terms of industrial output this will have a negligible effect, as very little work is ever actually done here on a Friday anyway. It appears that the unions are unhappy about a new legal framework for pay and conditions in the private sector. It does not affect the public sector workers, but isn't it nice to take Friday off anyway and have a long weekend - there are plenty of expats here to get on with the work and keep Belgium's tiny little economy ticking over.